Thursday, May 31, 2007

Confucious

Hathbag : ‘I am little confused with this change in code, Can u pls clarify’

Chales : ‘Super, The state of being confused is good, do you no why ?’

Hathbag : ‘No’

Chales : ‘When ur confused , it will trigger more confusions, more and more confusions means soon u will be Confucious. U no who is confucious rite ?’

Hathbag : ‘Yes , He was a Philoshoper…

p.s : What the....


Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Memories

I am standing near the door, reason being - room sans AC is virtual hell. I rarely experienced bad sleep during nights in my whole life. Today i was sleeping very comfortably when suddenly an inner call woke me up. A white smoke resembling the fog is visible near the mango tree. Terrible mistake on my part which in fact won't throw any surprise to the creatures close to me. I do make those often. It is the dust rising from the nearby construction site. Some days back i took the toughest decision in my life. I deserted her. But now i am restless. My days are becoming lengthy. Night i am finding solace in the sweet memories of her. She was an angel and of course i was a devil, sorry I am a devil. We were about to marry, but fate played a different game altogether. The accident which crippled her whole life didn't matter much to her. She was an angel. She faced it with the courage which was simply great. But i was a devil. I couldn't swallow the fact that my whole life has to be shared with a cripple. I fled from the place. Now the memories are back with its all powerful mental harassment. I can't revert my decision. But after so many days i felt she is calling me. I never enquired about her till now but still the guilty feeling thronged my mind and i suddenly took a decision to be at the place where she is.

Next day…

'What happened?’

'That doctor committed suicide.’

‘Who? One who was admitted last week?’

'Yes, that bloody psycho hit his maid servant with his car killing her and was admitted here last week. He won't sleep at all at night and keeps staring out near the door whole night. Yesterday also guards saw him standing there'.

Thursday, May 10, 2007

VISA

I was in utter confusion when the onus to choose a great name to this blog entry fell upon me. Yeah it is a jaadical start (). Umpteen names popped infront me (If you put corn in a special wonderful interesting machine usually seen in a mall u can see pop corn popping out).

Visa Diary of 'anony'.
My experiments with visa interviewer.
'anony' and the chamber of visa interview.
Gone for the visa interview.
The visa.

But realization of the fact - all those great ideas that came out from my mind was showing starkling similarity to the classics written by renowned authors. So i just deleted that notepad and putted ( ;) ) that into recycle bin.

Hockey(ok-oke-wokey-wockey-Hockey), here we go

I started to the american consulate in 'The great public auto service chennai limited'.70 Rs was ok for him.I gave 100 rupee note as an advance payment.As auto moved forward the sensex showed bullish/beerish(?)/deerish/doggish phenomenon and since he had a lates smart phone he instantly got a message regarding some inflation in indian economy.'Sir 90 Rs.'. I didn't yield. Just one km more to go.Another apple fell on his head.'Sir give me 20 rs'. Wow the ramanuja. He is planning to give me 50 rs. Alas...!!!.

'This is the consulate sir'.

'50 rs ?'

'120 rs is the charge sir'

'#$@#$@#$' (Note : Said to myself).what the...'

'Petrol charge increased sir'

'So soon..!!!, during a 30 minutes journey ? and you recognised it instantly ? great man'.

'I took the shorter and difficult route for you to reach early sir'

'Oh my poor friend, how sweet, how caring, you are my true...@#$@#$'

'2 kids sir, both are girls'

'Oh i thought they are...(Note : Said to myself).I have 3 wives and 4 grand children, big family you know.Third wife is suffering from blahassoblinkasso phobia'.

He gave me fifty :):):) He he he.

The qeue system outside the consulate is specially designed for white colored++ people.Atleast 2 hrs we should stand outside before we are let in.The sun tanning experience was marvellous. We should make this as a tourist spot. Special zones should be made where people can freely dryclean their body from pure white to pitch black.

Finally i am inside the chamber. Oops high class, 7 star security measures. The interviewers sitting inside a bullet proof glass reminiscent of a snake park. How they are gonna hear me ? Oh a small mike peeped out through a hole. Fast forward. 4 hrs gone. Now i am 5th in the queue. The reverent person interivewing an old man. What the heck he is doing there. For the past 20 minutes he is staring at the computer. Is he verifying forms or browsing websites. He may be tracing the applicants house in google map. Suddenly he pushed the chair backwards and went inside. What the...bad food? No he is back with a doughnut and pepsi. Aaaha niagra water falls in my mouth. I was damn hungry. He finished eating but not the processing. I was at my wits end. Finally my turn.

'Hi, How are you'

What a beautiful question, i felt like answering 'I am not fine man, i was waiting for [ast 4 hrs, last hour being the worst which included a extremely terrible situation of watching you eat a doughnut infront of a hungry poor chap which was unfortunately me.' But hold on.

What should i say ? How are you demands a description of me right ?

'I am tall and handsome, fair, bright, cool'.

But instead i answered the society taught automated answer to this question.' I am fine sir'.

'Are you going to work there ?'. Wonderful question. My document clearly says i am an employee of a company and what this guy is expecting from me

No sir, I am going to plant a bomb in my company headquarters and if possible in all the...@#$@# .

'Yes sir'.

'Your visa has been approved, have a nice day'

The whole day was spent in hot sun,long queue and finally in the evening he is wishing 'have a nice day'. But i got my visa, i am happy.

'Thank you very much sir'.

I can't imagine the terrible mental state of those who were rejected in the interview after such a long wait.

Thank god.

So now i am free to travel to USA.No anti-coca cola egos, no anti-american egos, no anti-bush egos, no anti-capitalism egos. All those egos proved futile infront of the lucrative package i will be getting for a job in US.