Love-letter

Dear Sunitha,

I don't know how to tell this. Neither do I know how to express my feelings nor i could explain. We knew each other for quite some time....

We three were busy with the preparation for the aug 15th floral competition. Ramu as usual went to the market in morning and may be on his way back. Our lift in 3rd floor went to ground floor. 'Oh some one is coming to this floor'. Gaurd had told yesterday that a new occupant would be coming to T2 flat.I didn't show much interest and continued the final touchings for the green section. Each color of the flag was assigned to each me, ann, priya. One more outer layer has to completed for it to finish. But Ramu has to bring the powder to complete it.

He was a cool dude. Omg not cool really handsome. Don't give such high ratings. Three views of 3 virgin girls. Mine had an extra topping of jealousy. Can't help. He talked to priya first. I had a bad timing. Was busy with decorating my part. And with her exceptional 'vayadi' a.k.a talkative nature it was quite a cakewalk for her to get an upper hand in the proceedings. But none could make much inroads into the relation with him. Thats why i got a crush on him. He didn't show much interest in those flirty type activities. Pakka decent. A great exception to the typical vayanokki. So as we used to see in many films i put a 5kg weight to both of my shoulders. But i think my tactics backfired. Occassionally he will be speaking to only rose or priya and that too upon the constant implementation of 'how to win a guy's heart' theory by a well known author. They started by offering some delicacies ( supposed to be hand made but factually speaking ramu's trademark hand made eateries' ). I kept my ego high. I was in a fix. Nor i could bump into him nor he would do that. Occassionally i will be keeping ramu as a dummy and will pass some glance at him. I will be ordering/discussing with ramu about how a house can be kept in order, what a responsible person,blah . One thing i was sure. He was paying a little attention to me.

I never thought a small knife cut accident will turn out to be my lucky incident. Ramu got scared. He was only 19. Poor boy, he went into opposite flat and called him. I knew this incident was silly. But blood flow didn't stop from the cut. He took me to the hospital and hence start of a relationship .

I think stars have turned to my favour. Both priya and rose got shifts for work and sometimes weekend too. Ramu has virtually became two flat servant. I would insist ramu to go and help and him so that i can join them and eventually into the conversations with him. I made up my mind. He is good. He has also developed and good friendly relationship with me. He was caring too. Good background, family and same religion too. But how can i propose him first. Intially i thought of using ramu as a messenger but my ego didn't permit. He defenitely likes me. But not sure whether he loves me or not. Hurray....!!!!. A email from him with dear sunitha as subject. Omg i can't believe. I was totally out of mind. Gone mad with all kind of feelings.

Dear Sunitha,

I don't know how to tell this. Neither i know how to express my feelings nor i can explain. We knew each other for quite some time.You are my good friend. I think you can help me regarding this. When i first saw ramu among you i felt a kind of emotion or feeling which i do know this will be a shock for you since you can't imagine me in that sense. But this is not wrong right?I can't tell this to ramu. But you can try to

I closed the mail. I couldn't read further. Delete pls Delete

Tell me yaar why you are leaving suddenly. Yeah tell suni what happened

Didi....

Aaaah , hearing ramu's voice i ran from there.

Welcome to Hairgel

‘Welcome to hairgel mobile and narrowband services’.

It was a lovely welcome message from them. I was impressed and was looking forward to quickly get an answer to my query. Here we go.

'Press 1 for Tamil', good but i donno Tamil.

'Press 2 for Hindi', good but i don't want.

'Press 3 for Portuguese' (what the...).

'Press 4 for Chinese'.

'Press 5 for French.’

'If you are dumb and deaf, press the cancel button'. ( Fantastic ).

'Press 100 for English' (gasp, thanks a lot to hairgel).

Somehow i pressed 100. Again came the message 'welcome to hairgel mobile and narrowband services'(phew, shavangal).Suddenly i felt some speedy train has passed. Oh the lady has said something. Is she telling something or studying for some fastest English shouting course? I just said one word 'Madam' (kreek, jerk...Oh my goodness, here comes the torpedo from hairgel rep).

'Welcome to hairgel mobile and narrowband services. Hairgel is the numero uno in many services which i donno know exactly. We have a unique business model and have created ripples all over India...' (All in 100th part of a millisecond).But i didn't allow her to continue. I howled like a jackal.

'keeeeeeeeeeeeeee, koooooooooooooooo, brrrrrrrrrr'. That was enough for her . Dingading.

Hairgel Rep: "what the...” Wow success. She stopped.

'Madam pls, i don’t want the history of your company. I will read from the website'.

'Thank you sir. I am glad to know that you are a regular visitor to our company website. Don't you want to know the specialties of our unique website sir? Wait a sec.'

'Ayyooooo...Rama Rama'.

'Great to know that you are devotee of ram sir. We provide you exclusive rama ring tones, caller tones, message tones, switch off tones, switch on tones, lost a mobile tones, anti theft tones.'

What should i do? I wanted to thrash this lady like a pulp. This is the limit. But relax buddy.

'May i know your good name lady?'

'Chinky'

'Wow, lovely name. I called to point out a mistake from your services but hearing your sweet voice i forgot everything.'

'What sir. I didn't get you'

Yeah, her speedy English got some sudden break. Good start

'Yeah chinky, I love you. I got a decent job and ur sweet. Shall we tie the knot? If you are ready contact me'.

No sound from the other end. Great, I won. Now not in near future she will torture me like this. I planned to do similar bizarre tricks to the other executives also.

'Bye now chinky. Catch you later'.

................................................................................

Aunty-climax (No uncle? Huh ...!)

'Chinky, gimme a cup of coffee'

'Yes dear lemme pack your breakfast'

Ooops. Dingolfications.

She

Train started again. I was just in after being out to buy some snacks to eat.

‘Lays?'.She nodded her head in disapproval.

The cold air began to pour in again. She didn't seem to affect by the chillness. But i started shivering. I took a thick cloth from the bag and covered myself. As usual some unreserved people have taken some available positions. One guy has taken my favorite position in train, upper berth. You will get all kind of privacy there and no one will be there to disturb you. TTR came and all of a sudden unreserved persons disappeared.

'Who is the second person?’ TTR asked me.

'My wife' I replied back pointing her.

TTR gave a glance and went away.

..........................................................................................................................................................

He was sitting in the chair thinking of something.

'What happened man?' I asked.

'Hey i have to go to bedalla village again.'

'Oh again going to that remote village?’

'Yeah, some more company work. Hey if you are free can you join?’

'Hmm.’

'Come on man, it's a nice place. You can explore your photographic passion too. You are free right? I am booking tickets for you'.

Soon we were traveling to the place. Me in upper berth as usual. It took around 6 hrs. There were no bus services in the village. We took a bullock cart and reached in front of a house. He had arranged everything and he was quite familiar with this place too. Good thing, otherwise it would have been quite difficult. Although the village wore a primitive look the girls were really beautiful. In fact on the way to house I spotted a few.

‘Hey someone is standing outside’

‘Oh, may be the guide’

‘Guide?’

‘Yeah man, a helper for you. He will help you to explore the village. Without him it will be difficult for you since you won’t understand their language.’

‘Wow, that’s great man. He can help to find the real beauties in the village. I saw a bunch on the way.’

‘Hey better you stay away from those beauties for sake of your good health’.

Guide’s name was Joseph and he is a migrant here. He showed me many nice places. Finally we were resting near an old temple.

‘Hey who is that girl with that water pot there?’

‘Oh she is madhu; she stays in that small hut there.’

‘Nice girl Joseph, if I get real beauties like this I will give you whatever money you want’

‘We can get sir’

‘Hey I was joking man’

I wanted to take one photo of her but quickly back tracked my idea.

Next day I decided to visit the temple again. My aim was to find madhu again. I found her. But she was in special attire.

‘What is going on there?’

‘It’s special pooja and human sacrifice’

‘What? Human sacrifice?’

‘Yes, but no body will be killed. Every 5 years this ritual happens here. The priests select virgin girls and they are given to the holy deity. Till next year this girl will be in the possession of the priests and after that girl is sold outside to the village. Then the village is sanctified according to them.

‘Everything is fake sir’.

‘I know these priests and they are sending these girls to outside people for money. We can also get them if we pay some amount to them’.

‘Oh. There is no police station here?’

‘No sir, it’s very far away and no one will visit this place. The villagers are hardcore believers and aggressive too.’

I felt sorry for the girl. She was very beautiful.

When I returned home my friend was not there in the house. He had informed me in the morning that he will be late. I felt bored. I slept till evening. Guide had provided me with some local brew. I started enjoying it. Good one. Soon I began floating in air. Nice girls began to come to my mind. Madhu came with the flowers and special attire. Beside her was the guide. He was saying something to madhu and also to me. I pointed to the drawer. He took some money from the purse…

I don’t know how many hours passed. It was total darkness in the room. I burned a candle. Some one is sitting in the corner. It was madhu. Oh my god, what I have done. I felt very bad at myself. What a creature I am. I heard a knock in the front door.

‘Hey, I am lost man’. It was my friend. ‘What happened’ I asked him.

‘I will tell you. The visit to this village was an intentional one. Last time during my visit I fell in love with a village girl who was a helper in my office. We planned to marry, but villagers didn’t allow. So this time we planned to run away. I thought of telling this to you but some how couldn’t. But now she is missing after that ritual. I am searching guide Joseph.’

I was in a shock after hearing this. I know where the girl is. He entered my room. He was shocked to see her in my room and looked at me. I couldn’t face him. She didn’t speak a word. He didn’t speak a word. Within 5 minutes he packed his bag and went out without uttering anything.

I was standing there in darkness disturbed by the candle light.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

‘What shall I order for you to eat?’ I asked her and showed signs for eating the food. She didn’t say anything.

‘Give us 2 meals’ I told the pantry man. She never gave me answer for my questions. But still I used to ask her for past 20 years. She never demanded anything. She always gave me an emotionless face. But I know inside her she may be weeping. I never heard any word from her. I never heard any word from my friend too. The 20 years of silence took some sheen from her beautiful face.

Memories

I am standing near the door, reason being - room sans AC is virtual hell. I rarely experienced bad sleep during nights in my whole life. Today i was sleeping very comfortably when suddenly an inner call woke me up. A white smoke resembling the fog is visible near the mango tree. Terrible mistake on my part which in fact won't throw any surprise to the creatures close to me. I do make those often. It is the dust rising from the nearby construction site. Some days back i took the toughest decision in my life. I deserted her. But now i am restless. My days are becoming lengthy. Night i am finding solace in the sweet memories of her. She was an angel and of course i was a devil, sorry I am a devil. We were about to marry, but fate played a different game altogether. The accident which crippled her whole life didn't matter much to her. She was an angel. She faced it with the courage which was simply great. But i was a devil. I couldn't swallow the fact that my whole life has to be shared with a cripple. I fled from the place. Now the memories are back with its all powerful mental harassment. I can't revert my decision. But after so many days i felt she is calling me. I never enquired about her till now but still the guilty feeling thronged my mind and i suddenly took a decision to be at the place where she is.

Next day…

'What happened?’

'That doctor committed suicide.’

‘Who? One who was admitted last week?’

'Yes, that bloody psycho hit his maid servant with his car killing her and was admitted here last week. He won't sleep at all at night and keeps staring out near the door whole night. Yesterday also guards saw him standing there'.

Flash back

"I think that's better. That is the best option you have although it's the worst one. Please do that for me”. I walked back towards the car. After a while I was speeding through the street on my way back to home.

Are all men like this? Not sure but may be. For the brand ‘male chauvinist pigs’ men belongs to the clan ‘Matured’. But these ‘M’ clan members will participate in various activities like small fights with girl friends which usually include subject lines “You didn’t call me for lunch”, “You didn’t mail me regarding that blah”, “But you called that blah head (This blah head is the friend of ‘M’ clan blah)”. My point was we had a fight. He scolded me for some petty reason and stopped talking. What crap? I too have an ego and I too stopped calling him and messaging him asking him million times “What’s the matter?”

Gone are the days where we used to go to office together. Gone are the days where he will be counting umpteen times the grills of the gate and waiting for me.” Why are you late? Give me the key. I won’t travel in a car driven by a woman”. Go to hell with his ego. Initially I was very happy about his lunch calls. But soon I realized those calls were a smoke screen to meet my stylish blah beauty colleague Miss.bleeh. I have to wait in the evening till his work is over. Then we will return together. After all he is my best friend.

But gone are those happy irritated days. I don’t know why. I don’t know what happened. That’s why I was very happy when finally he called me. “Come to the blah lawn near our blah tree”. I was enthralled. He finally called me. And that too to our regular time pass spot. Now he will be coming there with the regular ice breaker chocolates.

But soon I am reading a letter placed on the blah rock. I don’t have any emotion now. I don’t have any feelings now. I am alone. I am into last paragraph. “Some decisions we are making are wrong one. But when that is the best option available we have to do that. That’s why I am thinking of that. But I need your opinion. I am not a coward. I can’t bear all the mental harassment from the society that beckons me. This four letter killer has such a clout on the society. I want to escape from that. I want to escape from this life. I can’t wait till it starts acting on me slowly and finally taking my life. I want be a winner. So shall I???”

I just scribbled down this and walked back towards the car.” I think that's better. That is the best option you have although it's the worst one. Please do that for me”. After a while I was speeding through the street on my way back to home. I will be soon looking for tomorrow’s blah paper’s obituary column.