Thursday, August 9, 2007

Le directeur

The heading is french translation of The manager. French is a beautiful jaada language for the english speaking fellas to get an upper edge by inserting some french words like monster,err..monsieur,bon into a converstation just like putting sliced coconut pieces to steamed rice powder from a steel pipe, a terrible engla transla of a great mallu saying puttinu thenga iduka. A french heading is always catchy.

Canteen Scene :
Me, girly and the enemy

Me : hey bye da, catch you later
Girly: goodnite
Enemy: bon nite

That @#!@# enemy struck
Girly: hooy, do you know french ? Can you teach me
Enemy: yeah, if you really want i will do that for you

Then came those terrible nites for me and sweety-flirty-sugary nites for the enemy where girly is the perfect student and enemy is the perfect doctorate walla professor frenchie phew. The yahoo messenger became fully loaded with all kind of smileys. I prayed to the god for an immediate computer crash. Wow they stopped using messenger. Oh shit, gtalk. Enemy with a google translator and stupid girly learning all the french from this so called genius.

But i met success with italian. I typed hello to a new female profile. She replied back in some unknown language. Thanks to the translator. After a little trial and error i discovered that she is an italian. She was quite surprised on seeing a guy who knows italian. I started with regular stuff like asking about italy, rome, vatican. I just opened a search page began gathering information about these places and thereby increased the conversation length crooked flirt . She even sent me a photo of pisa tower.

dear, i am sending you my photo
ok josef
psuedo name
you said you are an indian right
but in the photo.....
i searched for michael, joseph, mathew etc names in google images and finally settled for a good looking foreign chap. But i never thought about this danger. Now what will i say?
I am an anglo-indian dear......
oh anglo indian..

From my next chat onwards , with new european gals i started typing "i am basically an anglo indian, josef". Truly speaking the success ratio was 90 percent. Out of the failures one was with a german client.Infact without using google translator i typed du hast. I have listened to this song by rammstein several times and since that was the only german knowledge apart from the names like nazi, hitler i just gave it a try.The response was quick and crisp. You assholic piece of shit. What a beautiful poetic reply.

I won't forget her. She was very caring and friendly.We had a two month chatting relationship and finally out of my guilty feeling i revealed her that i am not the guy in the photo and my name is not josef.

Samantha, i am sorry
hey josef, it's ok
but, i did a wrong thing right
Josef, I am also sorry for doing this to you
What ???
My name is sam and i am 68. Just now i have sent you my original photo
You bloody homo kelavan( old man )....!!!!!!!. I almost fainted seeing the innocent smile of...!@#@!

P.S : I started this post to tell about a perfect manager , but alas ended up with filling some junk stuff. Will release the second post soon with same heading and an added II.
"According to the classic managements textbooks and best-selling guides, the ideal manager is knowledgeable, achievement-oriented, detail-oriented, systematic, and efficiency-oriented; organized, a logical and linear thinker;..."

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